Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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