I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize