my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
