I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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