your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
