Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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