where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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