You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
