Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
