I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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