I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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