Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
