I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
