you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
