A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
