At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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