i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
