dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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