hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
