Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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