idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
