I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
