Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
