I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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