Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
