just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize