Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she pinky promised me she was 18
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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