Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
