Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
