we're blogging at a bar
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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