No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
