is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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