So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
