just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
