69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
