Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
