Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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