so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize