honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry about my life...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
