Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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