yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
