umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
