So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
