I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
