Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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