There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
