I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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