Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I party with great urgency now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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