I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
