lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
