Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
