I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
