Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
