so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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