i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My life is pants optional.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
