Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize